Derek

if any one remembers me leave a comment... lol

Dl this song its nutz


Lets get high - Lords of acid

Helllo im back from the summer ! . hey if anyone knows of a good job oppurtunity hit me up i need another one sssoooonnn! anyways l8Z

wellll i gotta say this summer is deffintally gonna be my least favorite one lol more becuase i have to work everyday (well 6 days a week) im really just looking forwoard to school becuase when that starts i dont have to work at alll!!!! lol.. this is a nice break so far. except i gotta go to court on the last day of it bummer. i hope i dont get probation or somthing else stupid.. me and rachel have been staying at her dads house all week cuz hes been gone lol its pretty fun ! anyways l8a

Welll i havent wrote a full entry in awhile. more the fact i like getting comments lol. i look back in this journal today to find i ahve made alot of mistakes in my life. espically last winter, damn i can remember that it sucked. winter Blew literally... i read some of these articales and i can remeber how i felt and its was horrible . but now i have relized that i am ok. im happy again.. i think everyone goes throough this phase of lost hope and depression. were nothing in ur life can get better.. or seem that way.. i have learned that there is always tommorrow and always the future to make ammends and fix the problems of the past.. as long as u tell ur self and remember this u will make it through the tough times. Must likely no ones is gonna read this or comment... i write this as a reminder to myself the next time i go back and read old entrys when im sad... i just want my self to know im happy now... and hope forever..

I do apologize to anyone i have hurt in the past.

good bye for now..

spanish Blue berry kazoo .. and that all that they knew .. for now is the time for u to comply to the different and indignat sighs. learning to say what really lays beanth the skin and deciding to understand it or not.

I GAVE BLOOD TODAY!!!!! it was weird but im just glad i could help out the community

l8a

this weekend was just straight up tiring what can i say i slept alot .. kinda boring lol... anyways when i got home yesterday i fell asleep at 530 and woke up today at 7 15 am lol i feel bad i was supposed to call rachel yesterday at 9 00 im srry baby..

goodbye for now

happpy deslexic hippos play solitare with dark munkey ninjas of simbabway

You May Be a Bit Dependent ...

You're more than a little preoccupied with being abandoned. You need a lot of support in your life, at all times. It's difficult for you to survive on your own... And you don't reallly think you ever could.

hmmmm my money situation is gettting worse by the day ! what do i do im still looking for a better job but no luck :( .I just got a ticket the other day i hope i can manage to pay this stufff or im screwed any suggestions out there ?plz i neeed help

im really hungry------------------------->ineeed food!

yesterday i saw the movie Amittyville horror with rachel. it was a pretty damn good movie there were some parts that deffinatly made me jump .. but overall it was decent , not as good as i thought it was gonna be but owell. i do recomend this movie if ur lookin for a spooky scary one.

So damn last nite i come in and robben bitches at me about my car insurance payment.. now i have been telling her for weeks that i have been have problems comming up with the money which turns out to be $650.00 now i did have plenty of money for the payment "before the trip" but unfortunatly it drained my funding which i told her a million times.. still she insists on being a royal bitch and contemplates my supposed actions of just lying around doing jack shit. anyways she decides shes gonna step in a make me make paymets to her but u know what FUCK that im gonna find away to pay it so she can get her face outa my business... unfortunatly i need to find a better job somewhere else.. i have tried everywhere im just waiting for a call ... so if anyone knows of any good job offers plz let me know becuase the 2 jobs i have now arent paying shit lol...

really though i am in a good mood im just frustrated with robben (step mom) i plan on moving into my moms for the summer so i can get away from her... it be nice to actually feel like and 18 yr old..

Everything though l8ely has been quit nice weather wise and just life in general i really wish school was out so i had more time for things including work and fun lol... and more time for rachel becuase even a couple hours a day can seem almost not enough lol.. time flies by when ur with the person u care most about lol

In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see
Though things change, the future's still inside of me
We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark
So you will always be in my heart, with unconditional love

School is gettin out soon weather is getting warmer and summer is around the corner... i dont know how i made it this winter alive lol so many times getting my car stuck and having a downer attitude . i deffinatly thank my good buddies (jerrad, dean, drew, jeff, and many more) for the help winter always makes me sad thanks dudes. and my beautiful girlfriend rachel i thank you too u have help me through even the worse times of that winter. Now im rdy to embrtace the better times ahead of me and many more good times with friends and rachel!

this is just a random entry l8a for now

WARM WEATHER here it comes!!!! BoUnCiNg offf the f*&king walls!!!! im feelin so good

So i havent talk to anyone in a month is everyone alright doesnt seem like anyone hangsout with each other anymore.. kinda broken up . well some one inform me cuase id like to know how ur all doing.. just drop a message anything let me know whats up lol

so its beeen a long break .. better yet a realllllllllyyyyy lonnnngg break.... jeff, my family, and i all left for cancun on march 19th... there was no delays (thank god)we got there at 10 am ... we spent the first night indulging in drinking teqilla and small shots of absenth (stuff messes u up ).... i can say that half the time during the trip i was drunk.... had trully my frist club experince dancing to techno and rap... me and jeff hit up a lot of clubs. the last one we went to La Boom had to be the best one .. we met alot of ppl down there had alot of fun but we were both rdy to come back to see our girl friends. all in all the trip was fucking sweet and i enjoyed every last minute of it. the sun the music has really loosened me up .. after the trip i got to spend the whole week with rachel. i think during that week we got closer then we have ever been. we had spent close to ever waking moment with each other and still we cant get enough of one another.. lol im already missin her i havent seen her in less then a day. we went to bora bora with eric and rachels friend rose . that place was sweet im takin jerrad there as a belated bday gift (happy 18th man!). all is well . met quite a few ppl. though i did have to work alot that was a downer .. owell i need money badly

right now i feel kinda in the middle i dont know why lol like a.. not bad but not good kinda feeling.. hope i get over it soon lol....



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Ah im leaving on my trip tommorrow im gonna miss rachel so much :( but i know ill have alot of fun, 7 days im a be gone so if ya call me thats were im at lol

so i had a very bi polar day last thursday... for the whole begginning of the day i was really happy and havin a sweet time but the time i went to work i could sense some tension building up.. my bosses freezer stop workin and he had to sp end alot money to get it fixed so he was pist the whole time .. then the added drinking didnt make it any easier on him.. so it gets l8er on around 8 40 and im rdy to leave soon cept my boss neededs help making dough for fridays shift.. he ends up dropping a tray of doe and freaks out on me.. starts yelling and telling me to punch out like i didnt somthing.. made me feel real horrible.. so when i leave i head striaght over to my moms house.. i get there and all the lights are on and her car is parked out front.. the door was locked oto.. so i go in and i can find my mom ... i was getting a lil scared at that point wondering were she is.. i look over to the bathroon and it looked like she had fallen and hurtin her self ... i just plan out freaked out got my phone out rdy to dial 911 .. turned out she was alrihgt she was feelin real sick and felt better if she laid down in there... i was relived but really scared for her i even cried i was so worried and i dont usually do that ever.. im glad to know shes alright but im really worried about her livein on her own .. it scares me somtimes..

this was an intresting weekend i gotta say. hung out with my rachel everyday lol that was a plus. got to chill with jeff, eric, nichole, and rob . cept robbed seemed bummed about his ex srry dude... ha turned out rachel and nichol KnoW each other from school lol they wanna hang out while me and jeff are in cancun in which we are leaving in lets see...... 12 days!!!!!! god im pysched! gonna be so tight .. chilled with eric when he got back form cancun.. him and jordan got me this sweet lil bowl. ate lots of pizza at my cousins bday party , rachel came and got to meet my dads side of the family. all was well i gottta say it was a relaxing weekend!